 Barreling down the road of least resistance, I connected with the Florence Crittendon Home for unwed mothers, which helped me get registered at UC Hospital and hook up with one specific doctor there. That same month, the Episcopal Diocese called me back to work again and agreed to keep me on until the baby was born. I made up a story for them that my husband was in Vietnam and I hauled my belly up the hill on the bus each day alone. And although I hadn't been devastated to see him go, I began to miss Felix. The plan became that we would live together again when he returned. I was very healthy through this time with the help of the popular Adele Davis diet that was strong on liver and wheat germ and brewer's yeast and vegetables. Slowly, I began saving all the money for the birth. During this summer word from home was that my dad had gone back to school to obtain a license to be an employment counselor after years away from any educational endeavors. He had to live away from home and it was a really hard time for him as well. By July, when I turned 26, my baby had begun kicking hard. In a diary, I wrote at the end of that August, "I feel so alone, working on and on, trying to plan without knowing if my child will have any kind of a father at all, even a very young and irresponsible one. I can only wait in complete ignorance of the future, except for the reality of being huge with child. Can anything explain or reconcile to me the solitariness of these months which could have been the most beautiful of my life." Felix was far away and sending only occasional postcards. I was becoming frightened, angry and bitter.
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